Sims 3: The Tragedy of Fred Chilton

Fred was one of three adopted children of Howard, a chubby, rigorously logical Sim with absolutely no romantic ability. As a young adult, Howard frankly assessed his odds of having a family through dating and marriage and decided to start adopting instead. And I have to say that he wasn’t a bad father: played many games of chess with his eldest, Lily, teaching her logic; spent time tutoring his younger two, Fred and Dandelion. He made a much better parent than his half-sister Kumquat, who left her daughter Rose to grow up more or less dependent on various maids and babysitters.

Fred's last bath But one day in his early teens, Fred had a mishap: he tried to take a bath when already extremely tired. This led to a strange, locked-in cycle: he kept passing out from exhaustion, then resuming his bath, then passing out again… and he never seemed to finish either task. Eventually he also needed to use the bathroom and get something to eat, but these other needs couldn’t overpower the bath/passing out cycle. I tried various things to snap him out of it — gave him different instructions, tried to cancel some of his orders, sent Dandelion in there to talk to him (and, I hoped, rescue him). No good. After a solid day or so of bathing, Fred started to starve to death, and I reconciled myself to his doom. I did throw Rose a birthday party, hoping that that would at least catch his attention — Sims seem to come running from all over when there’s birthday cake to eat — but instead there was just the rather ghoulish spectacle of the family and friends partying down while upstairs Fred scrubbed and splashed away his last three hours, his starvation clock ticking away.

But then… miracle! The grim deadline came and went. Fred was now officially dead (his only remaining task being “Expire”, his starvation clock counted all the way down) — but he went on bathing! I had a new idea, a pleasingly gothic idea. I got out the build tools and bricked Fred’s bathtub away so that none of the rest of the household would see him. He could go on bathing eternally in there, I figured, but everyone else’s life would go on.

Screenshot-11Alas, that bricking up turned out to be all that was needed to snap Fred back to awareness. He got out of the tub and died in his tiny, airless, lightless enclosure. I had to sledgehammer a hole in the new brick wall so that he could be found by his relatives and laid to rest properly.

Howard was devastated. A team of local scientists sent an offer: they would let Howard see Fred again, if Howard brought Fred’s remains to the lab. In the dead of the night, Howard crept out of the house with the coffer containing Fred. The procedure went ahead. The scientists said it was a failure, but Fred’s ghost materialized and began hanging around the house, with all his old goals and skills still working. Except for the transparency and the creepy eyes, the guy’s as good as new.

The first thing Revived Fred did was have a big meal.

13 thoughts on “Sims 3: The Tragedy of Fred Chilton”

  1. When I started reading this post, I got pretty worried about you. But happily, by the end of it my faith in you was restored.

    Next time I need someone out of the bathtub, I’ll tell them I’m locking them in.

    C.

  2. awww! i’m disappointed you weren’t able to brick him up and have him bathe forever, unaging, undying, eternally unclean.

  3. There is a way to fix that through a cheat. If you type in resetsim Fred Chilton, it would remove him from the bath, and he would probably just pass out on the floor after that.

  4. Hahaha, this was hilarious. I find my appreciation for the Sims as a franchise is directly related to how good the writer is in describing the insane adventures of actual sims.

  5. Resurrected ghosts seem to be fully functional: the one in “my” Sims household takes care of small children, pulls weeds, etc. I haven’t tried having him get a regular job, however.

    1. Yes, as far as I can tell they’re fully functional, except that they seem unable to marry. After one of my Sims resurrected her husband, their relationship status was set to “Fiance”, and I couldn’t get them to marry again. The resurrection only lasts so long, though; eventually the Sims run out of astral energy or something (I forget what the game called it) and return to their tombstones. After that, they can’t be resurrected again.

      And that reminds me of a story. I had two elderly Sims who both died and were resurrected this way, so that I had two ghost Sims living in the same house at the same time. The guy, Rush, was a terrible coward. One morning, he got out of bed and headed for the refrigerator to grab some breakfast. On his way, however, he suddenly noticed his ghostly partner Tori sitting at the computer – and he fainted dead away.

      1. I wonder whether the non-reset relationship flag is intended or a bug.

        heh! Children can gain the wish to see a spoooooooky ghost, but it’s funny that a ghost might also find another ghost spooky.

  6. Do you think it is possible to use screenshots from Sims games as artwork for interactive fiction with fairly mundane settings? Which version of the Sims would be best for this purpose?

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